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If you had a time machine and could go back to witness one event, what would it be? Remember, you are just a passive observer. No going back to change history or do something that you will benefit from in the present. So as much as you want, no killing Hitler, no telling Bobby to avoid walking through that kitchen or buying a ton of Apple stock at rock bottom prices.

They may be gorgeous. They may be fun, interesting, or intriguing. But these are the ones you have to watch out for, whether it be love, friendship, business, or having them serve you a burger: 1. Redheads 2. Short men 3. Skinny white guys who are chubby chasers 4. East Indians 5. Tiny women 6. Straight male choreographers and/or ballet dancers 7. White guys with Rasta hair 8. Women who do not know the difference between day makeup and evening makeup 9. Fat children 10. The OP (Beat you to it.)

The Rialto has never been hotter! BLONDES is a much-needed hit for Encores, people are rushing to see all the Tony nominees - it's almost like a real season! Broadway, alive and vital! Shocker! Lorna Luft out of North Shore "Dolly," replaced by Jackie Piro Donovan - does the cast at North Shore know what a major bullet they've dodged? Central Park "Into the Woods" still missing its Baker? Raul's available come Sunday ... will he be flippin' and floppin' in the park this summer? Transfer talk already of "Gentlemen Prefer Blands," - excuse me, Blondes - when could Hilty even do it? Her only free time to rehearse is now till July. Idina and Kristin - bestest buddies in reality? All those nasty rumors untrue? If GCB goes down this week, will Idina send Kristin her a big black wreath? Tony, Tony - Jeremy Jordan? Or Danny Burstein? Jan Maxwell, Audra, or overdue Kelli? Judy Kaye, Da'Vine Joy, or Jessie Mueller? And - NEWSIES or ONCE? Peter and the Starfucker - Chin up, Christian! You're probably going to win! Stockard Channing vs Linda Lavin! Would anyone want to go to rounds with either of them? May the best bitch win! (I wonder who Christian Hoff is rooting for?) Does the LA Follies suddenly work with Vicki Clark? Was that the missing ingredient? An actual frump playing a frumpy ex-showgirl? Leap of Streep! Obviously the hot ticket for the summer - but for all the wrong reasons? Anya - Vodka! Vodka! Elaine Stritch's favorite flop musical. We're off to the races. Place your bets here, kids.

Levi Johnston's former rep Tank Jones, with whom he recently parted ways, counters that Levi is doing great. "I would think he would want to do some different things too. I would never leave him at a low point."

Source says Levi Johnston penniless, living with his mom

You get sick, and they emergency services have to be called so that they can bulldoze your house to free you from your bedroom. If this isn't a motivator to losing weight, I don't know what is. "A teenager weighing 63st was taken to hospital yesterday with the help of builders, scaffolders and members of all three emergency services. Georgia Davis, 19, needed urgent medical care but it took around 30 people almost eight hours to get her into an ambulance. The road outside her home was closed off as two walls of the house were demolished to move her from her first-floor bedroom."

For the Morbidly Obese DLers

Bring on the kah-rayzee!

BREAKING * On her first day, Brit QUITS X-FaCTOR *

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Out of all sports I feel personally we have more swimmers and divers who come out as gay ie Greg Louganus,Matthew Mitcham,Mark Tewksbury and Daniel Kowalski to name a few. Who in the swimming and diving world is rumoured to be gay or who may come out next,besides of course Ian Thorpe ?

Any enlightenment on the issue woud be totes appreciated.

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New signs of a global slowdown are darkening the economic outlook. On Thursday, the U.S. reported that businesses were slowing their orders of computers, aircraft, machinery and other long-lasting goods. Measures of business sentiment in Europe slipped, and reports from purchasing managers at manufacturers around the globe turned down. Among them, China, the world's second-largest economy, registered its seventh straight drop in an important manufacturing index. With the latest reports, a new economic threat is emerging: That activity is slowing in sync around the globe and not just in a few markets with their own isolated problems. Europe, struggling with the risk of a Greek pullout from the euro area and broader fiscal problems, is the epicenter of global economic concerns right now. But reports of economic trouble are turning up in China, India, South Africa, Brazil and elsewhere. When the global economy is performing well, synchronized growth reinforces itself and spreads prosperity wide and far. But slowdowns can become interconnected and self-reinforcing, and the global economy has been plagued by them since the financial crisis of 2008. The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development earlier this week cut its 2012 forecast for growth in developed economies. The International Monetary Fund sees the global economy growing more slowly than 2011's 3.9% rate. Economic weakening, in turn, means investors are taking it on the chin. The MSCI World Index for stocks, which tracks markets around the globe, is down more than 9% since mid-March. Crude oil prices, another proxy for global demand, are down 15% so far this month.

New Signs of Global Slowdown

Why did they cast Kristen Davis? She is easily the weakest link in the show. The other three actresses are excellent, and she really seems out of her depth. She is pretty and preppy, yes, but watching her was sometimes painful.

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I wanted to vote for President Obama one more time but since he refuses to stop the drone warfare, I really don't think I will. A vote for gay marriage is no big deal. Killing hundreds of innocent people while in the comfort of an air conditioned office...there's something very wrong with that. I don't like this bully nation.

Weak, weak, weak. And the whitest season ever. I love me some soul and a big black girl voice. Nothing this year. Hard to believe.

American Idol Top 24 (spoiler)

He wants to meet for drinks tonight and chat. We stopped hooking up when he found his "true love". Now he shows back up a year later. What do you think he's up to? I checked his Facebook status and he's still in a relationship.

I can live with that.

Eddie Izzard IS Grandpa Munster!

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Elton John...sick

Should she have just gone the Britney/Xtina route and shook her ass onstage? Do you think she regrets taking the goody-girl route now?

The dull, lifeless career of Mandy Moore

2007

Finally?

Man confesses to killing Etan Patz

Enough with caling Obama a failure.

THIS is what change looks like

On the "have you tried butterfish?" thread, a poster expressed the desire to find the original butterfish thread and a poster named CC replied:%0D\ %0D\ "Here, it''s in a zip file with a dozen other awesome DL classics including the Shitbra, I''m Falling in Love with an Escort, Let''s Roll Cinnamon Rolls, Danny/Denny and his Samsonite, and Once Around the Garden vs Autumn Harvest%0D\ %0D\ Files are MS Word, with NO macros, viruses, or other nasty stuff"%0D\ %0D\ %0D\ CC is no longer a subscriber, so I''m posting the link to the files here, for anyone interested.

A gift to DL enclosed

Big Mama

"Further discussions of Louis' ass and the wardrobe Harry and he call home."

I wish they could have done a good job on it. Disappointing movie.